Doldrums
by shoret
Summary: Harry and Pansy's relationship from each of their eyes as they work through a tough patch. Cover art link in my profile! HP/PP Complete!


DISCLAIMER: Anything you recognize isn't mine besides I am a poor college student who owns nothing so suing me would be pointless.

DDDDDD

Doldrums

DDDDDD

Pansy walked into the living room and took in her surroundings. This wasn't what she had imagined her future like. The side tables were old and the varnish was peeling away. The couch cushions needed to be replaced and the paint was dingy. This was her life now, dingy paint. She was supposed to be married to a wealthy respectable man in a loving peaceful marriage. She was supposed to be an excited expecting mother. The front door creaked a little as her husband opened it.

Harry tracked dirt into the kitchen as he passed the living room. She would have to clean that later. He greeted her as normal without ever actually paying any attention to her. It had been like this for sometime now. They would eat dinner together, then they would watch television, and then they would go to bed. Sometimes they would have sex and sometimes they wouldn't. Pansy's best friend said they were in a rut but Pansy knew better. She and Harry were through. She could tell in the lack of passion. She could tell in the lack of communication. She could tell in the lack of everything.

Dinner would be a somber affair as always. She placed the potatoes and green beans on the table as Harry set down the prime rib. "How was the plant today?" Pansy asked after a few minutes of silence. After defeating Voldemort Harry had decided that he wanted a mellow job with no stress so he went to work for a brooming company.

"Normal." Harry had never been a big talker, but added more to his answer as the silence stretched between them. "Prates got his sleeve caught on the machine which was a hassle. He's really pissing off Mr. Sommers."

"Is Billy alright?"

Harry cleared his throat as if having to talk to her was discomforting. "Yeah, dumb bastard is right as rain and none the wiser." Talk pretty much ended after that. They finished eating and then did the dishes together. Pansy washed their plates as Harry dried them, followed by the silverware, and cups. Wash, pass, dry. Wash, pass, dry. With all the things they did together it was hard to believe such a separation had formed, but it had and Pansy could feel it gapping between them even as their shoulders brushed together lightly.

Harry went into the living room and put on the game as Pansy finished tiding the kitchen. She blew a piece of hair out of her face while surveying her husband from her position by the counter. She could still see the boy she had fallen in love with behind the hard lines of her husband's face. She saw his laughing youth at the corner of his mouth even though it was a harsh strike across his face these days. She could still see the wide-eyed wonder he used to have every morning before he was fully awake. His hair was still the same dark tousled mess and his eyes were still the same striking green, but he had lost his playfulness and humor somewhere along the way.

As much as she didn't want to admit it she knew it was her fault. She had changed first. She didn't play anymore either. She didn't go out. She didn't laugh. She needed a change, they both did. With that in mind she walked into the living room to confront him. "Harry," she started to get his attention. Once his eyes left the screen she continued, "I'm moving out."

Harry rolled his eyes and opened his butterbeer. "Please don't start this shit again." He downed half the bottle in one sip before continuing. "We both know that you're not gunna actually do it. You'll pack half of you stuff and then change your mind like all of the other times. Let's just save the drama, okay?"

"I'm serious this time," Pansy said still standing to his left.

Harry propped one of his arms on the back of the couch and continued to look at her. "Just come sit and watch the game with me, sweetheart."

Pansy stood indecisively for a minute trying to decide what to do. She should go and start packing. She really was going to leave this time … or so she kept telling herself. She should summon her old pre-war Slytherin self and tell him no and put her foot down, but as she stood there looking at him waiting for her to sit down she saw the boy she fell in love with. His eyes were laughing with some private amusement and his lip curved up into a lopsided grin for a second. She sat down and his arm came around her shoulder. She leaned into him as they lapsed into silence. She wouldn't be packing her bags tonight. Maybe having a baby would get them out of this rut. Maybe they would be happy again together because they obviously couldn't, or rather wouldn't, live apart. Maybe everything would work out. Maybe. Maybe.

DDDDDD

Harry shifted to wrap his arm more comfortably around his wife. The first few times she had talked about leaving his heart speed up and he forgot to breathe. Losing her was not an option. Things were bad with them now, but they couldn't stay like this, right? Maybe he was being to Gryffindor or whatever, but things always got better and the dawn came after the night or some shit. Things would eventually work out. Pansy and he had been together since right after Hogwarts. Maybe he didn't show his appreciation enough or tell her he loved her enough, but what did she expect. She knew he loved her. She knew he wanted her. She also knew he didn't like to talk about his feelings or emotions. She knew him; she had to know how he felt. Her threat of leaving still upset him a bit so he handed her the remote, "Here, you can put on something different if you like."

"Aren't you watching the game?" She asked as he hand hovered over the remote.

"No," Harry said while shaking his head. "The seeker will probably catch the snitch any second and we're up five hundred to ten. We practically won already; you can change it."

"Okay," Pansy said as she took the remote. She pulled up the guide and scrolled through the cannels, but whenever something important happened in the Quidditch game she would exit the guide so Harry could see it better. Harry kissed her temple as she pulled the guide up again. Her thoughtfulness was one of the many things that had first attracted him to her. Not many people saw it but Harry knew that Pansy was actually a very warm person under the layers of Parkinson's ice. It was her thoughtfulness and her willingness to try anything that ultimately won his heart. It didn't hurt that she was beautiful and funny.

After a few sitcoms Harry felt Pansy yawn into his arm. "Ready for bed?" Pansy looked up at him with sleepy eyes and nodded. Her hair was a little mussed from leaning on him and her eyes looked slightly glazed. He was assaulted by the memory of the first time they had spent the night together as he looked down at her. She had had the exact same expression on her face when they woke up in together all those years ago.

Harry pulled Pansy to her feet then switched off the lights as she turned off the TV. She grabbed his hand as she led him down the dark hallway to their bedroom. As Harry walked down the dark hallway he thought again about the girl she used to be. He saw her before him in all of her glory. He remembered her smile when he proposed to her on her birthday. He remembered the way her hair felt when they would lay out under the shade trees by the river at the back of the property. Most importantly was that he remembered how her eyes use to light up whenever she saw him. He loved the girl she used to be more than anything else. He still loved the woman she had become and as long as they had that they were fine. As long as he knew in his heart that he could never and would never need someone as much as he needed her then they were fine. They were fine.

DDDDDD

A/N: I have never written a H/P fanfic and then this popped into my head so I said why not. I hope you like it. I also hope that there are some other H/P fans out there because they just seem like they would work. I realize that both of the characters are a bit out of character, but that's because this came to me as a non-fanfic story, but then I changed it. Please, please, please tell me what you think of this and if you want to read the original pm me and I'll send you a copy.


End file.
